I can sing!!

I just got really emotional. I have been singing in the choir at St. Mark's for over a year, and enjoying it very much, feeling like I have gradually improved. A couple of weeks ago, the director, Mel, told me he wanted to work with me. I wasn't sure what he meant. Then he called me and asked me to fill in for the Marktets alto part because Julie was going to be gone July 1. I  couldn't believe it, it scared me and flattered me but I said yes. So I practiced once before my trip to Arkansas and again tonight and Mel and the group are so encouraging. He told me he would like to work with me for about 6 months and then I would be amazing. Kate, the young soprano who is a voice teacher, was also very encouraging. After an hour, I am hoarse, and I called Ellen.

My emotions? Anger and excitement. Anger because I think a little encouragement from my music major, choir director, singing mother would have made a difference in my life. Yes, I forgive her, and can be grateful for the journey. It is hard to say at this point if I am happy or joyful, so I will just say, excited at the possibilities. Mother used to tell me that I sang flat. Today, I found out that if I correct my vowels, that will be fixed. I didn't realize how deeply buried my desire to sing was. Anyway, I will keep moving forward and praise the Lord!

A day with Ellen

I had a very leisurely morning, woke up around 6 and didn't go pick up Ellen til 10. I had coffee and a little yoga, read all my books, did a little journaling, did a word search, crocheted -- went down for breakfast, and I can't really think of anything else. It was nice though.

Then I got Ellen and we went to her store. She airbrushes T-shirts and paint signs and has converted an old gas station/mechanic's shop into a very attractive and unique business. And she helped me design my tattoo makeover. I am going to add Ephesians 2:8 and redo the cross. I am really happy about that.

El Dorado has a very nice shopping district around their historical square, and we went there and ate at a bakery/sandwich shop, ate salad. Then we walked around and did alot of window shopping, then decided to go into an antique store "just to look around." Well, I spent $150.00! - found a great original painting, an old heavy ice truck toy, and a few other things that I really like. And I didn't feel bad buying them because the space that has opened up at home is stirring my creative juices, for something different.

Then we came to my hotel room, rested a while, tried swimming but not for long because the sun had gone, then laid around for a while. We decided to eat Mexican food and then go see Men in Black 3, which was hilarious and fun!

I had to take her back home, which is in Smackover, and didn't get back here until 10:30. It was great having the day with Ellen!

A highlight of today was getting to talk to Hannah, who is in Paris, on skype. It totally amazes me. 

Arkansas, Day 1

I left home about 9:30 this morning, after managing a 2.1 mile run - 3 times around block.  I had gotten mostly packed last night, took Carol to church, and felt like things were proceeding decently and in order. I arrived at my hotel at 4:30, after an uneventful trip. I had packed some food, and only stopped a couple of times to pee and once to take a quick roadside nap. I am listening to an audiobook, James Patterson's The 11th hour.

After settling my things in the room, I went to Smackover and picked up Ellen. Her husband Troy gave me a tour of the old church building he bought which is across from their store/home. It is solidly built but damaged,and he really has a vision for it as well as the physical capability to make it happen. Fascinating.

Ellen and I went back to El Dorado and ate for free at Bandera's - free because Troy has done alot of work and they owe him. I got some very good tilapia and a baked sweet potato. We got caught up on all things important in our lives, particularly our marriages. It was  a wonderful sharing time. I did not take her up on her suggestion that she spend the night with me, and she understood about the need for alone time.  So I took her back home and am now back in my very nice LaQuinta hotel room. I use this chain after alot of trial and error -- it is decently priced, usually very comfortable, and always a good continental breakfast. This room is only $75 a night probably because of location. I have a queen sized bed, easy chair, desk and chair, dresser with HD flat screen, and this one has a minifridge and microwave. I am on the second floor and have a sliding door and small balcony overlooking the pool. Right now, at 9:30 pm, there is a family with children making alot of noise, which is fine for now, I like hearing the life. I will listen to music later when I try to sleep.

Tomorrow morning I will go get Ellen, and we will go see her store.  I plan to ask her to help me figure out how to redesign or redo my tattoo. After that  we may go to a museum or just lay around by the pool, clearing the cobwebs from our brains.

Austin

Yesterday, Saturday, Carol and I left about 8 am. We had a quick visit with David in The Woodlands, managed to see Bryan for 30 seconds before he took off on a bike ride after trail running last night. ( He is training for a triathlon).  David seems to really be doing well, and I am so happy about that.

Carol and I stopped in Brenham and had a good lunch at Must be Heaven, then went to a used bookstore and a couple of antique stores. Then we arrived in Austin and delivered the dehydrator to Will's co-op. I had impulsively bought it a couple of months ago after impulsively thinking I could be Mother Earth again, and eat raw more. Well, I realized that I had been there done that and there doesn't seem to be any going back, I would rather do other things. I will keep on with my morning green drink, and try to eat healthy. Anyway, the co-op is happy. Will looks great, and we took off and went thrift store shopping where of course everyone found treasures and Mom spent $100.  We then went to eat at an Indian cuisine restaurant called Shalimar.  It was ok, but way too spicy and heavy, and I didn't feel too great afterwards. During this meal, the kids twisted my arm, as usual, and we decided to go to a 10:00 showing of  Moonrise Kingdom at Alamo Drafthouse. This movie is not showing in Houston, but on 3 screens there.   So after checking in to the hotel, then stopping by Whole Foods and picking up some chocolate covered ginger, we waited in line for a very long time to see the movie and get a decent seat.  It was ok, but I don't see what all the fuss is about.

So it was after midnight when we got back to the hotel. I had originally thought to go to church at University United Methodist because it is near Will, but he has to go to work and we had a late night so I decided against it. I got up at 6:45 and have had a couple cups of coffee while Carol still snoozes. I am going to go get on the treadmill for a bit, then we can just chill here for a while. Checkout time isn't til noon.  

I plan to stop at Yarnorama on the way home and spend about $100 on yarn for a crochet jacket I have been wanting to make.  We should get home midafternoon, then Carol is going to audition for a part in Baytown Little Theater's summer musical.

Mother's Day

I did not enjoy my volunteer experience at the trigirl sprint triathlon. I got there a little after 6 as instructed and was told by a lady who obviously needed help to "go over there and wait". I couldn't believe it, I had gotten up early and gotten there only to be told to wait, and when there was obviously lots of work!?  I was eventually instructed to get in a trailer and was taken out to a place on the bike part where I was left completely by myself, no water, no input as to what to do after the race, just stuck there to make sure the racers went this way not that way. It was clearly marked. I tried to make the best of it, cheer, etc, but it wasn't fun for me.  I jogged most of the way back, and there were no further instructions, not even after ward, to clean up. I did clean up some trash anyway, and came away with 3 finisher towels, a purple muscle milk swim cap which I gave to Johnny, some mini luna bars, and a bottle of muscle milk. Oh and an orange shirt that says trigirl crew on the front and the back.  Never again.

I felt pretty yuk by the time I got home and decided to cheer myself up by going for a run at Goose Creek trail. It was middle of the day but only about 75. Since I am training for the Baytown Heat wave I can't let heat bother me, anyway. I did get a little running in, but not as far as I would've liked due to Mother Nature. Fortunately there were a couple of secluded trees, and due to my background in primitive camping, I know how to squat. Yes its graphic but that's what happened. Anyway, I came on home and cried a little. I was feeling lonely for my kids, too.  Ames was here before he went to work and he hugged me and we talked a bit and I felt better. Carol went to the Duncans and Johnny was training for his tri so I was home alone. I put on an old Fleetwood Mac album and cut up a mango, a pineapple, some apricots, nectarines and apples and put them on the dehydrator. By the time I was done I felt way better, cuz Will and then Rachel called me. David called me last night, Bryan texted me, and Carol and Ames wished me Happy Mother's Day in person.  Hannah called me a bit later. I can't wait to see all of them Thursday.

I called my dear sister Ellen, who is so good about sending cards. She said she had decided to not go to church on Mother's Day anymore because it depresses her. I hadn't thought about that but I think if I had gone I probably would thought alot about Mother, because she loved the choir. I do miss her.

Pet peeves

I am writing this from work because google is actually not blocked by the server.

I have to deal with quite a few crazy people who believe that case managers are in charge of everything. I have this lady who keeps telling me that she needs me to .....   Pet peeve # 1: Don't tell me what I need to do! Ask me if I can, or if I will, but DON'T TELL ME I NEED TO. I don't need to unless I decide I need to.

Pet peeve # 2: I really hate being called "Ms or Miss Sara". Especially if you are older than I am. I don't even like it when children call me that. Just call me Sara, or if you are young and wish to show respect, call me Mrs. Tobin.   I have realized over the years that this is a southern thing, and is as deeply rooted in people as their enjoyment of eating crawfish. (shudder). I may have to move north of the Mason Dixon line.

Thanks, Ellen

Obviously I sorta quit writing here. I tend to do that. I have a paper notebook entitled Sara 2010 in which I wrote quite a bit for a few months. Then quit. I started this blog. Then quit. So my dear sister Ellen, my one follower :) reminds me that I was writing about my life and should finish. She just found the PAGES. I reread them and I agree, I need to write more.

okay I confess. I want  to write more, more transparently. So I started a private journal, just this week, on Penzu. com. I really am wanting to write more. But do I want anyone/everyone to potentially read it someday? I used to think not, in fact have destroyed everything I wrote in notebooks except the aforementioned. I am becoming less afraid of revealing myself to even myself.

So okay Ellen, I will try to write here, at least occasionally, and finish my story. And you, dear sister, need to blogitize your photos! :)